Well, folks. It has officially been one year since life changed dramatically.
It is the one-year anniversary of when the marriage ended. To the date. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about sharing the biggest take-home message I experienced while on a maiden (read: first solo, post-divorce) voyage to Rishikesh, India, and how you can use this to help yourself through your own habits of self-limitation.
The biggest lesson I learned was….
Letting go of expectations
At the risk of sounding like a spoiled little girl, here goes. I wanted so badly to ride an elephant! I’d seen it in the movies, in pictures, on the internet and, now, here I am in India and I REALLY want to get on one of those massive, gentle, swaying, makes-you-feel-like-the-world-is-so-much-bigger-than-you creatures. Like right now! While I did yoga and meditation daily at the ashram, learned about the customs and mannerisms of the culture, went on roller-coaster cab rides, shopped the vibrantly coloured markets, ate the food (oh my god, the food!!!), met living legends and gurus, did ayurvedic healing and cooking, drove into the Himalayan mountains…. couldn’t get the elephant out of my mind.
It really was the pink elephant in the room!
Stop for a second. No, it wasn’t! My EXPECTATIONS of how the trip should go- my ‘script’, if you will- was the real elephant. Now, we’re getting somewhere.
So, because I had put so must expectation on seeing this wild icon and real-life inspiration behind Ganesh, connecting with it on such a primal, Jane Goodall-and-her-chimps level, I became attached to it, obsessed with an outcome. But, in doing so, I was losing my freedom, giving my power away. Who wants that? Feels kinda like a self-imposed prison, no?
A BIG lesson learned on so many levels.
Ok, Kendra. Time to let go now and trust. Trust that this journey is all unfolding as it should. Look at these gorgeous souls and the best travel companions for which a woman could ask, your authentic experiences…and come back to gratitude again. Trust that your life is all unfolding as it should. And the universe has your back.
When you let go of your expectations you release yourself of any premeditated resentments to which you would have otherwise felt entitled. Would you rather be right or happy? Contrary to popular belief, you get to choose.
You don’t need to travel across the world to have this experience.
Now, get really stinking honest with yourself here: where in your life do you expect things to work out perfectly according to your plan and they never do? Think of 3 big things. And go.
Are you ready to let go yet?
I dedicate this post to Aarti, Nirav, Sundari, Meredith, Stephan, and Ta without whom this wouldn’t have been the best solo journey of my life so far. Much light and love.